Typhoons in the North Sea

The following is based on a report in the Yorkshire Post...

     May 2, 2016.  Yorkshire, England.
     Captain Donald Wallace, code-named Harpoon, checked his instruments again.  This was the third time he checked in as many minutes, and for the third time, they were all green-lit.  In the past, his RAF Eurofighter Typhoon jet had given him trouble, so speeding across England airspace made him slightly nervous, this go around.
     "Pike One and Pike Two," Harpoon heard in his helmet's audio set as Base Control checked in with moment-by-moment reports, "we have you on radar entering Doncaster.  The Air France airliner is still experiencing communications failure, and a bogey in its proximity.  Haste is prudent."
     "Copy, Base," said Harpoon.  To his partner, he said, "Let's take them to Mach 2, Spear.  See if we can't over take them."
     "Roger that, Harpoon," said Spear, who was flying in her own Typhoon.
     Passing over Doncaster and great swathes of Yorkshire, the pilots increased their aircraft's to twice the speed of sound, creating a wake of dark condensation behind them.
     "These people aren't going to like the wake-up call," commented Spear.
     "Stay on target," said Harpoon.
     Most of the citizens in the area had settled in for the night, and some were probably watching Out Source before heading to bed, while Harpoon and Spear took their Typhoons to Mach 2.  The sound at this altitude was deafening, and it would have sounded like a massive ground explosion.
     "Pike Squadron," said Base Control, "you're coming up on your target area.  The Air France airliner should still be over the North Sea and the bogey is still in proximity."
     "Roger that," responded Harpoon.  He spotted the aircraft's running wing light blinking the usual red and white to his left.  "Spotted the Air France airliner at my eleven, and... uh..."  Harpoon hesitated.  He saw the bogey on radar, but he couldn't believe what his eyes were telling him.  "Spear, do you see that?"
     "I see it, Harpoon, and it's incredible."
     "Pike One," interrupted Base Control, "do you care to share with the rest of the class?"
     "It's, uh," he started, and tried hard to figure it out.  "It's like nothing I've ever seen."
     The object tailing the airliner looked like it was built from a child's Lego set.  The edges' sharp corners defied aerodynamics.  No engine, nor tailpipe fire, nor exhaust showed any kind of propulsion.  Lights blinked to indicate the object was indeed there, but the surface was painted in a "non-color", was the best Harpoon had described it in his report.
     "It's definitely not one of ours," Spear said.
     "Permission to engage, Base Control," said Harpoon.
     "Permission granted."
     Harpoon aimed his jet's nose at the object and armed the Python 4 (an advanced short range air to air missile) in the weapons carriage.
     "Python armed," confirmed Spear.
     "Let's light it up."
     Pike Squadron let loose one each of the missiles, which would strike their target in less than three seconds.  Harpoon checked his read out, the missiles as orange blips heading toward the red indicator (the bogey).  One second before the hit, the red blip disappeared from his scope.
     "What happened?" he asked.
     "I don't know," said a surprised Spear.  "It's gone."
     "Detonate the ordinance well away from the civvies."
     "Pike Squadron," came the voice of Base Control.  "Bogey spotted at your five, altitude seven hundred, moving in quickly."
     "Roger, Base," responded Harpoon.
     As Base Control indicated, the object was directly behind and below them.  Harpoon maneuvered his Typhoon one hundred, eighty degrees, and pitched his nose downward.
     "I've got him on radar," said Spear.
     "Missiles armed and locked," said Harpoon.  "Fire at will."
     Two more Pythons left their nests with afterburners ablaze straight for the object.  Less than three seconds felt like three minutes to Harpoon.  He checked his display, the orange blips getting closer to the red one.  As he watched, both rockets hit their target.
     "Direct hit," he said.
     "We got the son of a bitch," said Spear.
     "Target is no longer on radar," confirmed Base Control.  "Bring it home, Pike Squadron."
     As the Eurofighter Typhoons sped across Northern England airspace, the unidentified flying object watched from above, hidden by the night clouds.

Seven hours later, as Captain "Harpoon" Wallace rested back at the base, the BBC issued a report of the event, stating that "it was caused by a wayward Air France airliner over Yorkshire that had experienced a radio communicator problem."